How I Live Through This

with anne roche


Self-leadership can be lonely. It’s hard to do the thing no one else wants to do. That no one else is willing to do.

But it turns out you’re not alone. There are others showing up to life in extraordinary ways – and getting through hard shit with humor and grace.

Join Anne Roche, former criminal defense attorney turned life leadership coach, as she finds the others – those who laugh as they lead, dance as they fight, and allow generosity to outshine fear.

Let’s live through this, together.

Season 1: Leaders for Change

In Season 1 I talk with leaders for change.

In 2020, Covid occupied my every thought but Black Lives Matter and the anti-racist movement occupied my heart. I was obsessed. And angry.

Anderson .Paak’s song, Lockdown, was my anthem that year. But that song also made me dance. And that amazed me. How could I be fighting for justice and dance and sing at the same time? How did Anderson .Paak channel anger and joy in one song? And who else was doing that?

Where could I turn to find not just inspiration, not just motivation, but community? People who were filled with fire and light just like me.

Yes, self-leadership can feel lonely. It’s hard to do the thing that other people aren’t willing to do. But it turns out we’re not alone. There are others showing up to life in extraordinary ways – and getting through hard shit with humor and grace.

Here are some of the people doing just that. Laughing as they lead, dancing as they fight, and allowing generosity to outshine fear.

Join me – let’s live through this, together.

Episode 1: Leading with Fire & Light with Anne Roche

In this opening episode, Bernadette Jiwa turns the tables on me, acts as host, and pulls out all my stories. We talk about weird school lunches, unusual parents, remarkable teachers, and my journey through law, coaching, and activism.

Episode 2: Quiet Leadership with Orpheus Crutchfield

Listen to Orpheus describe how a childhood experience at camp helped him discover the power – and value – of his own quiet leadership. From being the first Black teacher in a prestigious San Francisco school to running a business dedicated to helping independent schools around the world work towards equity and inclusion, empowering others to tap into their own leadership is a cornerstone for Orpheus.

Episode 3: Allied Leadership with Hannah Wright

We explore how Hannah stepped into the role of an accidental ally, and her discovery that “everyone can make the world better from their own place in the world.” We discuss the value of emotional labor and the wisdom of knowing when to shut up and when to speak up.

Episode 4: Creatively Exploring Leadership with Jackie Davis

Listen along as Jackie talks about defining moments in her life and discovers the thread of being a creative explorer throughout. What does leadership mean? As a life-long learner, Jackie gives her unique interpretation and discusses how she shows up – without knowing how it’ll end – by focusing on what she can control.

Episode 5: Aligned Leadership with Orlando Bishop

Listen to Orlando talk about his ADHD diagnosis late in life and how coping skills he developed as a child serve as trusty tools he relies on to this day. He’s a fan of leaning into the things that come naturally and gaining clarity around one’s “why” as a way to stay grounded.

Episode 6: Mission Based Leadership with Jenn Campbell

Meet Jennifer Campbell. Jenn and I first met through a mutual connection and we bonded immediately over our need to call bullshit and our desire to serve a mission bigger than our lifetime. She’s been through fires of combat, entrepreneurship, the very premature birth of her child, and divorce, but by using the Greek virtue of Arete, she guides herself and others toward living to one’s fullest potential.

Episode 7: Dream Leadership with Sonya Denyse

What happens if “no” means “not yet”? Hear how being connected to play allowed Sonya to grow up living in a space of possibility despite a lack of resources. We discuss the dream killers and the gift of joy; the differences between raw and cultivated talent; and inspiring action versus inspiring shame in difficult conversations.

Episode 8: Getting it Done Leadership with Stevie Lee

Listen to Stevie talk about lessons he learned as a young man coaching sports in Marin City and how his leadership style developed by helping people see the potential they have in themselves and celebrating the little victories. How does Stevie Lee define leadership? Hear him share his idea of leadership as seeing what needs to be done and doing it, how sometimes going rogue is necessary, and the difference between collaboration and partnership.

Episode 9: Leading with Love with Bernadette Jiwa

Love leads all of Bernadette’s stories – from her childhood in Ireland to her life as a writer in Australia. We explore how helping others discover their own stories, and therefore the leadership of themselves through their stories, is work we feel privileged and honored to do in Bernadette’s Story Skills Workshop. Listen as Bernadette shares beautiful personal family stories exploring themes of agency, starting without knowing the outcome, and beginning everything from a place of love.

Season 2: Leaders Within

Welcome to Season 2 of How I Live Through This!

This season focuses on Leaders Within.

So many of our institutions, organizations, and systems feel broken, flawed, ineffective and down-right destructive.

Judicial system
Law enforcement
Health care
The list goes on, and on, and on.

Yes, it feels overwhelming. Impossible to change. Too big, too established, too stuck.

Let’s just burn it to the ground and start over.

I know I feel that way every time I look at the news.

But as soon as I start talking to people –especially people within these flawed systems, I find hope. I find people showing up to change. People who are taking step after step after step within their industry toward change. People who aren’t just talking about it but actually doing it.

They aren’t the people you always hear about on the news –they’re too damn busy doing the work.

And they’re gracious and generous enough to take time with me and talk about what set them on the path of change, how they navigate the complexities of working within a system to change it, and where they see their work moving the needle.

The black and white, right and wrong narrative is easier to navigate than a world of grey, of complexity.

My guests live in this complexity every day. And they do it because they choose hope over fear. Possibility over challenge. Bridges over walls.

It is possible to contribute. And here’s what that looks like.

Join us –let’s live through this together.

Episode 1: Teresa Goines – Gold Within Youth

I’m excited to start off Season 2 with Teresa Goines. As a nineteen year old waitress in a small diner, Teresa swore she’d never end up owning a restaurant. Today, Teresa is the founder and CEO of Old Skool Cafe, a jazz-themed supper club run by at-risk youth in San Francisco. Listen to her story of how she got there and how seeing gold in others and supporting what’s already there is at the heart of everything Teresa does. What Teresa talks about – acting from love, standing in community, taking small steps, and letting go of the outcome – shows up in every interview I did this season. These amazing people are proof that every person has the power to make a difference.

Episode 2: Bun Lai: Purpose Within Food

Bun talks about his parents – and grandparents – who defied expectations and followed their own paths and how their journeys informed his own exploration. Bun has always been an artist but was drawn to cooking in order to support his mother. Purpose driven from a young age, Bun’s journey as a chef started out of love for his mother, yet evolved and thrived as he took on the role as head chef at Miya’s – the first sustainable sushi restaurant in the world.

Episode 3: Bithiah Carter: Democracy within Philanthropy

What shifts when we democratize philanthropy by returning to a focus on time, ties and talents as well as treasure? Every action becomes an important action and every person may lead from their own seat. We also talk stories – how understanding the stories of those before us and beside us allow us deeper connections to each other.

Episode 4: Mandell Conway: Giving Within Community

We talk about Mandell’s project Giving Is Like and the importance of listening in philanthropy. He shares his stories of heart centered, intentional giving and the idea of celebrating people as a form of giving back. Everyone has the power to be a philanthropist and Mandell gives examples of how easy it can be – especially when done from love.

Episode 5: Jess Nowaski: Coaching Within Policing

In my arrogance, I had assumed the idea of coaching in policing was a new one. Jess shattered my illusion. She talked, as a deputy police chief, about the need for a shift in the culture of law enforcement and how she was using coaching as a tool of leadership development to do just that.

Episode 6: Sean Murphy: Mental Health Within Law Enforcement

Listen to Sean Murphy, a former police dispatcher with the Boston Police Department for almost 17 years, talk about the need for mental health services within law enforcement. He shares his own insightful story of what peer support meant to him after failing to take care of his own health for years. Sean talks about how accepting support from his trusted peers – other first responders – was critical to his own survival.

Season 3: Undercover Coaches

This season was inspired by a flight attendant I met who used her listening skills as a way to connect, calm, and create an extraordinary experience for the passengers and crew.

Our interaction made me realize that I have met a lot of people who aren’t expert listeners or trained coaches but who use empathy, curiosity, and generosity to connect and create space for other people to step into possibility. I call them undercover coaches.

People in my audience were saying, your guests are amazing but I don’t have these coaching or leadership skills. I can’t do that work because I don’t know how to. What if I get it wrong. What if I make a mistake.

I feel exactly the same way. Every goddamn day.

And I’m calling bullshit on both of us.

If I’ve learned anything these past few years, it’s that no one is coming to save us. The curtain has been pulled back and it’s clear that it’s up to each one of us to show up and put in the work to make the change we want to see in the world.

Sometimes, that work is as simple as a conversation.

In this season, I interview people – including that flight attendant – who show up intuitively using these skills. My hope is that I learn how to use these tools more fluently, not just as a coach, but in my everyday life and interactions.

I’m hoping you find them useful as well.

Join me – let’s live through this, together.

Episode 1: Acknowledging and Validating with Renee Waggener

Renée Waggener inspired Season 3 of How I Live Through This. As a flight attendant for Alaska Airlines, Renee used humor and kindness to set the tone for a flight I was on. I knew I had to meet her.

Episode 2: Seen and Heard with Jodi Pickering

Hear how awareness is the key to good listening and how the joy of connecting can be learned.

Episode 3: Finding the Common Thread with Noel Ciminello

Listen to Noel talk about how the true gift of connection is not just giving someone else a place to put down their fear and feel heard, but also the growth and discovery that takes place in self.

Episode 4: Creating Trust with Warren Gendel and Scott Raymond 

We talk about their fitness business here in Marin, Club Evexia, and how passion, speaking from one’s heart, and building trust are the key to creating not just a physical space but also a connective space for people to feel seen and heard.

Episode 5: Heart Connection with Enrika Greathouse

Listen to Enrika talk about the power of heart to heart connection, the importance of understanding what other people have the capacity to hold, and how she discovered that we’re all leaders – of ourselves and each other.